Spending two hours, on two different days, in five separate locations each day where there will be about fifty-plus people isn’t as easy as it sounds. Or at least not for me. For starters, I tend to avoid crowds. They make me feel claustrophobic and panic-attack-y, so I had to put in a bit of extra effort to think about where I should even go to fulfill this one. Some places were easy, like the Grocery store or Work, places I pretty much have to go anyway, other places were required in separate assignments (Church, for instance), and others didn’t pan out the way I thought (like the oyster experience, maybe five people in the whole establishment).
One of the more productive outings actually didn’t even happen in a space with fifty or more people, but just on a regular run down to the small grocery shop down the road. I got to talking with the cashier girl, Hailey, and we hit it off, more than the polite conversations I’ve had with her (and her boyfriend) in the past. We exchanged information (facebook, specifically, and I know how much Brad LOVES facebook), and made tentative plans to hang out at Trivia night at one of the local bars. She didn’t show, possibly because she forgot, personal reasons, or something, or possibly because I didn’t know going in that the bar was a ‘members’ bar only, and she literally COULDN’T get in. Either way, it was nice to talk to a somewhat new person, and make plans.
Going to Church didn’t work out as well as I’d thought it would, sadly. At least not for this assignment. There were plenty of people, but Catholic church isn’t really like the church I’ve been to in the past. It’s much more regimented, and far less social. People seemed to be there to get in, get their penance, and get the hell out. Not exactly conducive to chatting. But oh well.
Mostly this one just lead to me being more comfortable talking and socializing with strangers in other settings, like today in my new class, I actually talked with the girl next to me quite a bit, and we even hit the lunch room together. A relationship I might actually pursue, at the very least for the duration of the class. It feels good to be able to converse with total strangers again. I haven’t’ felt this free to just talk with people since I was very, very young. I really hope it’s a sign of things to come, and I’m going to do my damndest to ensure that it is.
So why is it that every "positive" social interaction you seem to have is with women? Read back through your posts and you'll see that this is the case. Food for thought.
ReplyDeleteThat's not exactly news to me, or something I haven't thought about. I'm more comfortable with women, or less comfortable with men, whichever way you want to look at it. It's partly because I was a pretty non-normative male child, and I didn't fit in with most of the other boys, but the girls all seemed to like me (and we had similar interests) while they boys would make fun of me. And not just in the while "I like Rainbow Brite and Barbie" way, but also in the "Let's all play WAR!" "Okay, I'll be the shape-shifting pacifist who steals away your weapons!" "...you don't get to play anymore."
ReplyDeleteIt's also probably got a lot to do with the fact my father wasn't there the first 3 years of my life (literally, he was almost always deployed), and then for the vast majority of the rest of it he was busy with work or something, so we never really bonded or grew close.
I don't know how to interact with 'guys'. Their ways are both foreign and strange to me.