Experience-"You are, you are, you aaare, UN-FORGIVEN!"

            Surprise, surprise.  I failed to complete “social.”  Truly shocking, I know.  I know I’m getting better, 6 out of 7.  But this one was just…I’m still trying to figure out how to approach these assignments, as so many of them (esp. social ones) are so foreign to me.  I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around how I was supposed to start.  Just walk up to someone and be all, “You need forgiveness?”  Then watch as they awkwardly back away, and around the corner.  Which wouldn’t bother me, really, except that it wouldn’t help me complete the assignment either.  I kept an ear open at work, hoping someone would fuck something up, so I could console and forgive them.  But alas, to no avail.  I contemplated posting a listing on Craigslist “FREE FORGIVENESS:  You tell me what you feel sorry about, and I’ll forgive you!” but I couldn’t decide where exactly it needed to go (considering their “free stuff” section specifically says ‘Nothing incorporeal’).  Oh well, maybe social will go better this week.

            Also?  10 points to whomever gets the title reference.  Hint:  It's song lyrics.

Experience-"Patrick's Adventures Through the Looking Glass, and What He Didn't Find There"

            Viewing oneself through two artificial mediums (the reflection of a mirror, as filtered through the digital lens of a webcam) is somewhat unnerving.  Especially with eyes closed, as if sleeping and unaware.  When I look at myself in a mirror, I mostly lock eyes with my reflection, focusing on that part.  I’m not sure if I’m just vein (I’m often complimented on my eyes), or if it’s a simple part of human nature—“look me in the eye when I’m talking to you!”  We rely on eye contact to make connections, to feel as though we’re being paid proper respect and attention, even by ourselves in the mirror.  Sure, I give the rest of my features a glance, just like everyone else, checking for blemishes, a lack of symmetry from one matching feature to the next (“Is one of my nostrils larger than the other!?!?!!!?”), but it always comes back to eye contact within a few seconds, as if to reassure or chastise myself with regards to the offending or flattering features.  With eyes closed that’s much harder to do—especially if you aren’t recording it!

            With eyes closed, there isn’t another pair of eyes to lock onto.  Even in pictures, photographs of oneself or others we (or at least I) tend to first lock eyes with the photograph.  Then examine the rest of the photo for extra clues about this person, even if it’s just I.  Without the connection of the eyes, ones vision drifts more freely, picking up a more even canvas of the physical presence in question.  I did find myself drawn to the subtle indications of breathing, however, a subtle reminder of consciousness (the breathing is slower and less labored in a sleeping individual).  I noticed the play of light across my face more, shifting, filtered through atmosphere, branches, window pane and blinds, and the subtle way it altered the perception of my features.  I also noticed from day to day a shift in color, flushed, drained, etc.  Again, all very subtle, but when you don’t have the eyes to lock onto you pick up more of the whole.  But somehow, less of the person.

            I didn’t feel much of a connection with myself in these videos.  I was detached, thrice removed by webcam, mirror, and closed eyes.  Yes, I noticed more physical features, the way my body would subtly sway and shift, but it was all very distant, sterile.  They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and if you don’t believe it, just try observing yourself in this manner.  You might be surprised at how foreign the person in the mirror (through the webcam) seems. 

Experience-"Time is a gift, precious and rare..."

            Doing nothing you enjoy can be really frickin’ miserable.  It can also be kind of freeing, interesting, and fun.  Thankfully, most of the TV shows I watch (which is not an unreasonable number, but is more than it should be) are under 30 minutes, but limiting myself to one a day was a little difficult.  Not exactly Sophie’s Choice, but still hard deciding which exact one I was most interested in watching that day, since I only had one shot at it.

            Masturbation was also a little difficult.  I usually like to take my time, really get into it.  Not just whack-n-go.  I can roll with 30 minutes when need be, but I’m totally the kind of guy who likes to just luxuriate in self pleasure for an hour, or even two.

            Eating wasn’t hard.  I enjoy eating, but I don’t usually have time to sit down to some long, drawn out meal either.

            Pretty much all our video game consoles are broken, and I just don’t play that many to begin with, so that was easy.

            The hard bit was not reading, as I’m currently in the process of reading like 3 books (Yes, Brad, one of them is Imajica).  I’m not a quick reader, and even if I were, less than 2 hours of enjoyment-reading just seems like a waste.

            The experience wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t particularly hard.  I learned something I already knew, but is nice to learn and relearn from time to time.  Sitting in front of the TV vegging out, or doing any activity where you just unplug from society and day-to-day issues (yes, this includes logging on to the internet.  Virtual society only goes so far with regard to legitimate social interactions.  Also, physical activities, like being a constant gym bunny) isn’t healthy or cathartic.  It can be healing and rejuvenating to take a day, every so often (measured in months, not days or weeks) to just unplug, refresh, and just enjoy being unplugged.  However, it can also be an alluring trap you don’t even realize you’re stuck in until years, perhaps the majority of a lifetime have passed by.  Like Eddie Munster in the Phantom Tollbooth, stuck in the doldrums.  It can be relaxing to not have to care, not have to worry about your life, or the lives of others, just sit back and relax, forever.  You may even be able to convince yourself you ‘need’ it, that it’s good for you, but if you’re not careful?  It will swallow you whole.

Experience-"All Rise"

            Didn’t actually get to this one until today.  They don’t hold court everyday, so I kind of had to wait for them to hold the next trial.  There were three to choose from, two criminal (one of which I was too late for) and one civil.  I chose the civil, because it seemed like it’d be more interested (though I’m sure that’s just my personal preference).  The case was apparently the second in a potential series.  The Plaintiff (a satellite television company) sued a man for something regarding ‘cards’ used with their service.  The judge and lawyer didn’t go into great detail, having both already discussed the case previously, but I was able to glean from a combination of what they said, and my own personal knowledge that the man had been effectively stealing cable by altering access cards to the satellite network’s encrypted stream. Piracy.  The whole thing was cut a little short, however, by the fact the defendant didn’t show up to court.  I’m not sure why, it wasn’t really discussed.  I was impressed, however, with how professional everything still went, even with the lack of a defendant.  Honestly, I was impressed with the whole affair.

            Firstly, when I walk into the actual courtroom it’s just a beautifully designed room.  It’s an older building, as many courthouses are, or at least designed to appear, and had some simple, yet classy wood paneling along the walls.  There were high windows, and multiple chandeliers.  It was all very much like a movie set from some 1940s courtroom drama.  I kept expecting Jimmy Stewart to burst in demanding something or other.  However, unlike a movie from the 40s, the courtroom was also full of electronic equipment.  Several computer monitors sat on the desks of the defendant’s side, the plaintiff’s side, and the … whoever that woman who sits under the judge is (not the stenographer).  Additionally, there were little microscope like devices I can only assume are used to highlight specific paragraphs, sentences, words, and dates of individual documents in cooperation with all the monitors.  The combination of modern technology and old aesthetics was really, truly beautiful.

            Second, I was deeply impressed with the judge.  When the defendant didn’t show up, I half espected this to just be a case of “Oh, well, pretty much whatever the plaintiff wants then, since I guess Mr. Smith didn’t want to show up,” but it wasn’t in the slightest.  The judge actually argued over wording, making sure that this case would not determine any future rulings, both because of a lack of fairness to the defendant, as well as a concern for overstepping jurisdiction and setting a potentially disastrous precedent.

            I don’t know if justice was served, but it sure was fun to watch.

Experience-"Honor? Hah! He doesn't HAVE any 'honor'!"

            Rory has been married for more than twice the required time limit, and had a bit of difficulty remembering a time she had to defend her husbands ‘honor.’  Defend HIM, as a human being, both physically and emotionally, from both the world and himself, sure.  Not so much his honor.  We discussed how she had cut people out of her life in defense of his honor, people who at one point she regarded as family, but proved to be back stabbers, and betrayers.  One, a high school friend of hers, the other a man her husband regarded (and possibly still regards, in some aspects) as a younger brother.  Both, however, had taken information gleaned from their privileged vantage point over the couple’s lives to gossip, and betray.  Her husband took a fairly passive stance, perhaps too shocked from the betrayal to truly accept it, for whatever reason, but Rory made her stance firm.  She cut these people from her life, because she would not have her husband’s name dragged through the mud just because they felt it would help them advance their careers and/or personal lives.

            Perhaps more to the point, she mentioned a time before they were actually married, back when they were in high school together, when another girl came up to her and began to spin a number of tales about him.  She was basically trying to make sure Rory knew his had ‘a past’ and was with many women.  This was not news, they lived in a very small town, and Rory politely put the young woman in her place by stating not only did she know this, but she also knew he was faithful to her.  He may have slept around as an unattached bachelor, but he would not do that to a woman he actually loved.  Though here, I think she was defending herself as much as him, heh.

            The concept of “honor” is a somewhat foreign one in our modern times.  The definition of honor is “the evaluation of a person's social status as judged by that individual's community.”  The lines get blurred because we’re such a multicultural society, and within that we’re further divided by our multiple communities.  There’s the community we live in, the one we work in, our online community, etc., and each has its own set of rules, codes, and ideals one must live up to in order to be “honorable.”  Rory herself had a difficult with the concept, struggling to think of just what constituted “honor” and how one could defend another’s.

Experience-"No way!" "Uh, Yahweh!"

            Blurring the lines on this one, I decided to ask someone I have been talking to only a few months now (we play in an online game together, and have never met in person) rather than a total stranger.  Partly because it is kind of awkward to just start a random conversation about personal religious beliefs with a total stranger (I’ll work up to that, I’m sure), but also because I felt really lax in our budding friendship.  We only skirted the subject once before, she and I, and apparently I was completely wrong in my interpretation.

            I knew she was raised Catholic, but thought (as with all other Catholics I know, but am not related to) she was lapsed.  Apparently I was wrong.  Ana, her chosen name, actually still regularly attends Mass, and when she is unable to attend still does her daily readings.  She occasionally prays the rosary, tries to understand Church teachings, and to emulate Jesus; she does Lent and Ash Wednesday, and has met both Popes of her lifetime so far.

            Curious I further questioned if she ever questioned her faith, looked into others, and why exactly she found such comfort in the Catholic religion.  Ana responded that she had gone through a questioning period in her life, particularly when the major Church scandals broke out a few years ago, and she felt betrayed by the leadership.  Apparently her family is originally Orthodox, her mother being the first to be baptized Catholic, and she looked into that for a time—one of the draws to Catholicism for her is the ties to her family’s history.  However, when she went off to a Catholic College she met others who were passionate about their faith, and soon found her own rekindled.

            I find her story very interesting, as it’s similar to my own, but with a drastically different outcome.  I was raised in a bi-religious household (Christian and Jewish), and when I became a teenager began to question religion in general.  I searched various kinds, including Wicca, various Eastern religions, and a Judaism, to name a few.  I found that most religions held ridiculous tenants I simply couldn’t find the logic in, and were often used to justify acts of violent hate.  I became disillusioned, and decided I neither wanted, nor needed religion in my life—though I still consider myself a deeply spiritual person.

            Where Ana was able to find comfort and spiritual clarity, I only found distrust, disillusionment, and disgust.  I don’t think she’s wrong, or pass judgment on her for her beliefs, but I can’t claim to understand their appeal either.  And I’m okay with that.

Experience-"Spare the rod."

            I do not have children.  I do not particularly like children (even as a child myself).  I do not know that I ever want children—perhaps, we will see.  I do know I have to deal with children on a daily basis, however, and the way their parents choose to raise them, or NOT raise them does effect me, and society in general, so I do take an interest in the general practice of child rearing.  Which is not to say this project is superfluous or redundant to my life, because I actually rarely ask people-on-the-street their opinions on the matter; I prefer to consult the professionals (SUPERNANNY, FTW!).  Ahem, anyway…

            I took some liberties with this one, and posted the question to Facebook.  To be fair, I do not actually know everyone on my Facebook ‘friends list’ very well, or even at all (there are a couple friends of friends, and even just people who found me through shared interest groups).  The hypothetical was “How would you punish a child who intentionally puts gum in another child’s hair, the child is age 6”—I was specific because the infraction, intent, and age all matter in the type of discipline appropriate.  I got a few “Beat the shit out of the child” responses, but mostly from people who a) were not totally serious, and b) do not actually have kids.  One creative answer was to give the child a surprise haircut, because ‘kids seem to hate those.’  My favorite idea, however, is the idea to simply take the child aside (optional:  put them in ‘time out’), and then explain to them what they did wrong, and WHY it was wrong, followed up with an apology (again, SUPERNANNY!).

            One of my biggest complaints when getting punished when I was little—which was a truly rare occurrence—wanted to know why exactly I was being punished.  Why did it matter enough to send me to my room, put me in the corner, or give me a spanking.  In order for a child to rise to the level we expect them to be as adults, we have to treat them as such.  A person will raise or lower themselves to your expectations of them, especially when so young and impressionable.  My mother was not perfect, but she never treated me as simple, and I never acted such.  Children are amazingly versatile, and can be reasoned with if given a chance.

           

            As a personal aside:  I don’t believe in spanking.  I was spanked, not often, and I don’t think it damaged me terribly.  However, I do believe there are better ways.  I also find it interesting that a study was done which showed all the individuals who hid Jews from the Nazi’s during WWII were themselves never spanked.  I feel, in the long run spanking does more damage to a child than good.

Assignment - Temperance - Virtual - Week 5

Objective - Reflection
Duration - 15 mins daily, preferably at the same time each day (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Sit in front of a mirror, with your eyes closed. Record a video (webcam) of your reflection in the mirror while you do this. Discuss what you see, and what you don't.

For reference: Wikipedia (particularly the last paragraph)

Assignment - Temperance - Vicarious - Week 5

Objective - Justice
Duration - 1 hour (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Goto court (traffic/civil/etc...) and observe the proceedings. Discuss how other people experienced justice.

Assignment - Temperance - Social - Week 5

Objective - Forgiveness
Duration - 15-30 mins (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Offer forgiveness to a stranger who has done wrong (but not wronged you).

Assignment - Temperance - Spiritual - Week 5

Objective - Constant mindfulness of others
Duration - 15-30 mins each (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Engage 5 strangers in a conversation about their religious beliefs.

Assignment - Temperance - Physical - Week 5

Objective - Practice self-control
Duration - 7 days (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Do nothing that you enjoy (aside from sleeping) for longer than 30 mins each day.

Assignment - Temperance - Mental - Week 5

Objective - Learn the prudence to judge between actions
Duration - 1 hour (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Discuss with both someone who has a child and someone who doesn't how they would punish a child to prevent that child from repeating some offense. Weigh the two viewpoints against each other, and determine which is more appropriate.

Assignment - Temperance - Emotional - Week 5

Objective - Explore honor and monogamy
Duration - 1 hour (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Find a couple who has been in a monogamous relationship for 10+ years and discuss with them how they have defended the honor of the person they love.