Experience-"Glutton for Punishment"

            Catholic Mass.  What can I say about Catholic Mass?  Well, it’s pretty overindulgent all on its own, for starters.  I’ve experienced a number of religious ceremonies (Southern Baptist, Wiccan, Jewish, Episcopalian, and a few others), none of them are quite as rigid and overly indulgent (again, in my opinion) as the Catholic tradition.  It honestly wouldn’t have bothered me half as much if the congregation seemed to at all be involved, or passionate about the spectacle.  Instead they simply mouthed along, saying the right words at the right time without any feeling, just waiting to get through it, to take communion, and then get the fuck out.  At least the Priest seemed legitimately to feel the spirit of his sermon.  It also seemed to borrow heavily from other religions.

            There’s the most obvious, which is the Jewish tradition (of which I’m pretty familiar) in which there are many sacred items presented in a very similar way as the catholic tradition, right down to the presentation of the Torah (or Bible, in the case of the Catholic Church) to the congregation, paraded about and treated as though its physical embodiment is itself holy.  This is pretty common amongst most religious ceremonies, sacred texts.  But the way in which it was presented struck me as startlingly similar.  Then there were all the pagan rites, which was probably the most interesting aspect for me.  Watching a bunch of people practice magic without (for the most part) even fully realizing what’s what they’re doing.  I’m going off a bit on a tangent here, and a slightly incoherent one at that, so I’ll wrap this bit up.

            One of the things I loved the most about most religious services was the community, the way the congregation gathered together in support of one another (even if it was just to support one another in continuing to be closed minded bigots).  The Catholic service, or perhaps just THIS Catholic service, however did not encourage that.  There was a single moment in the sermon in which we were supposed to turn and greet the people next to us, but it wasn’t from the heart.  We were given a script, “Peace be with you.”  We weren’t even forced to try and fake something of our own creation.

            At the very least, the actual sermon was beautiful, as was the setting.  It will never be a religion I understand, or consider myself part of, but I did appreciate the experience.

Assignment - Gluttony - Week 6 - Spiritual

Objective - Over-indulgence
Duration - 5 hours (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Attend a religious ceremony for at least five different religions.

Experience-"No way!" "Uh, Yahweh!"

            Blurring the lines on this one, I decided to ask someone I have been talking to only a few months now (we play in an online game together, and have never met in person) rather than a total stranger.  Partly because it is kind of awkward to just start a random conversation about personal religious beliefs with a total stranger (I’ll work up to that, I’m sure), but also because I felt really lax in our budding friendship.  We only skirted the subject once before, she and I, and apparently I was completely wrong in my interpretation.

            I knew she was raised Catholic, but thought (as with all other Catholics I know, but am not related to) she was lapsed.  Apparently I was wrong.  Ana, her chosen name, actually still regularly attends Mass, and when she is unable to attend still does her daily readings.  She occasionally prays the rosary, tries to understand Church teachings, and to emulate Jesus; she does Lent and Ash Wednesday, and has met both Popes of her lifetime so far.

            Curious I further questioned if she ever questioned her faith, looked into others, and why exactly she found such comfort in the Catholic religion.  Ana responded that she had gone through a questioning period in her life, particularly when the major Church scandals broke out a few years ago, and she felt betrayed by the leadership.  Apparently her family is originally Orthodox, her mother being the first to be baptized Catholic, and she looked into that for a time—one of the draws to Catholicism for her is the ties to her family’s history.  However, when she went off to a Catholic College she met others who were passionate about their faith, and soon found her own rekindled.

            I find her story very interesting, as it’s similar to my own, but with a drastically different outcome.  I was raised in a bi-religious household (Christian and Jewish), and when I became a teenager began to question religion in general.  I searched various kinds, including Wicca, various Eastern religions, and a Judaism, to name a few.  I found that most religions held ridiculous tenants I simply couldn’t find the logic in, and were often used to justify acts of violent hate.  I became disillusioned, and decided I neither wanted, nor needed religion in my life—though I still consider myself a deeply spiritual person.

            Where Ana was able to find comfort and spiritual clarity, I only found distrust, disillusionment, and disgust.  I don’t think she’s wrong, or pass judgment on her for her beliefs, but I can’t claim to understand their appeal either.  And I’m okay with that.

Experience-" יֵצֶר לֵב הָאָדָם רַע "

            For those unfamiliar, the concept of Yetzer Hara is as follows:  “refers to the inclination to do evil, by violating the will of God. The Yetzer Hara is not a demonic force, but rather man's misuse of things the physical body needs to survive.”*  I.e. the human need to eat being taken to the extreme of gluttony, when one no longer NEEDS to eat, but simply does it for its own sake.

            I was actually really looking forward to this one.  Not because I am a religious individual, because I am not.  But I enjoy my Hebrew heritage, and actually have a desire to get back more in touch with it.  I even went through the oh-so-tiring burden of searching GOOGLE for a decent Temple near here, and found a really cool Reform Judaism (i.e. liberalist of liberal) Synagogue in town, with a FEMALE RABBI!  I still plan on attending High Hollies at some point there, and maybe even the occasional Friday Night service when I am in the mood.  For me it is far less about some archaic dogma than it is about a sense of community and shared history.  Plus, who knows?  Maybe I’ll find a nice Jewish Doctor to bring home to Mom and Dad, heh!

            The week I was supposed to be doing this the Rabbi was out on vacation, and then things got a … busy.  And I admit, I got a little lazy when I had free time.  Anyway, here is as good a place as a Rabbi’s office to discuss how Yetzer Hara affects my life.

            Well, for starters I can boredom eat.  I am better about it now, but it can still be something of a habit.  I can also turn the need to feel safe and protected into being callous, cold, and distant.  I am much better about this one too, but it can still be a damaging habit, and I have yet to truly break myself of it.

            I guess ultimately the goal of acknowledging Yetzer Hara boils down to the old adage “Everything in moderation.”  Sex, food, protection, they are all required to sustain life—one of the most holy tenants, btw—however, they can all become dangerous and detrimental if overindulged.  It’s all pretty much common sense, but it’d be interesting to sit down and discuss in a theological context.  Maybe I will eventually, we’ll see.

Assignment - Temperance - Spiritual - Week 5

Objective - Constant mindfulness of others
Duration - 15-30 mins each (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Engage 5 strangers in a conversation about their religious beliefs.

Experience - Spiritual Chastity - Week 1

Lies are a part of our daily life. We tell them without thinking about it, without remorse or guilt. And for those of you who think you aren’t liars, “When asked the question ‘are you a liar?’ nearly 97% of people answer ‘no’. When the remaining 3% (self-confessed liars) are subjected to questions calibrating their real, rather than perceived honesty, they turn out to be, on average, 28 times more honest than the people who claimed they never lied.”* The only way to be truly honest is to admit you’re a liar. Now, it’s not a bad thing, per se. It’s just a fact of life. We lie. We bold face lie, little white lie, lie of omission, and a myriad of other definitions for the same basic concept of un-truth. We lie to each other, our families, friends, employers and total strangers, and to ourselves—which is perhaps the most dangerous of all. Because we lie to ourselves, it can be difficult to gauge whether we’re actually telling the truth. Which is why going into this I just want to state, I truthfully can’t say whether or not I was honest. I can’t say with 100% certainty I fulfilled this assignment. All I can say is, I tried to the very best of my ability not to intentionally lie, mislead, or otherwise be dishonest or untruthful.

I regard myself as a very honest person. Which isn’t to say I’m a ‘bad liar,’ I lie with great ease and subtlety, but I’m generally pretty open and honest about it. I also do, honestly try not to lie for the soul purpose of hurting another individual, and recognize I am a terrible hypocrite for despising when others (try to) lie to me. One of my most common lies is the simple “You’re fine.” I say it as reflex, without even considering for a moment the full meaning of my words. “Oh, you’re fine. I didn’t mind coming in to work when you didn’t really need me while I was very, very ill,” “oh, you’re fine. I didn’t actually need to set down this heavy tray. Please, go ahead and take all the time you need to jump in front of me with your one salad bowl and tongs,” or “oh, you’re fine. I didn’t mind waiting out in the cold for an extra half hour while you were picking up other customers, even though I booked this cab for a specific time.” What I’m really saying when I lie “You’re fine,” is “I’m worth less.” “I’m worth less than you,” “I deserve to be ignored and treated poorly,” “I don’t deserve to actually take up space.” This is a learned response, a lie I tell myself and the world, and one I very desperately need to break.

I’ll have to stop here, or risk running over my word limit. I could honestly write pages on the subject. Just know, I have learned from this reflection, and hope to grow in response.

*Taken from Answers.com (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_some_statistics_on_lying)

Assignment - Lust - Week 2 - Spiritual

Objective - Yetzer Hara
Duration - 1 hour (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Discuss the concept of Yetzer Hara with a rabbi and how it applies to your life.

Assignment - Chastity - Week 1 - Spiritual

Objective - Embracing moral wholesomeness
Duration - 7 days (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Do not tell a lie in any form or fashion.