Experience-"The Time has Come, the Walrus Said..."

            Gross.  So gross.  Hate you Brad, oh my god so gross!  This…even before going into it, just…so gross.  Even the thought of it was just beyond disgusting, and the actuality of it somehow managed to be worse.  The roommate and I decided to make a day of it, hitting the comic shop up in the afternoon (aside:  Got you something, Brad), then heading over to a local grill—which by the way, one of the most beautiful dining rooms I’ve ever seen in a place so reasonably priced and centrally located—where we knew they served the “delicacies,” followed by drinks and a movie at a local Cinema/Bar where we drank beer, ate onion rings, and watched one of the most amazingly terrible pieces of cinematic abortions to be green-lit, ‘Burlesque.’  Seriously, the film may have actually been harder to sit through than the 10 damn oysters.

            Anyway, we get there and the place is empty—to be fair, we got there five minutes after it opened—and take our seat at one of the tables in the ‘sports bar’ styled area.  It was a little cutesy/kitsch for my taste, but the view of the main dining room was so gorgeous I didn’t care.  Roomie and I both agreed this was a place we’d have to come back to later with our meat-eating friends (only two vegetarian friendly options on the menu, none vegan, and both were starters/salads), and we could just order deserts and liquor.  And this is where all the pleasantness of the experience stops.

            The waitress comes up, very friendly and sweet, to see if we know what we want, we don’t, but I’ve already noticed the specials board.  We came on the perfect night, apparently, as Wednesday was their oyster special, ½ of an order of 6 or 12.  I inform her I’ll need a few minutes but know I’d like an order of 12 oysters, raw.  She brings them out, and I have to just stare at them for a good 2-3 minutes before I can muster up the courage to actually try one of the slimy little bastards.  Using the little fork, I pull one off its half-shell, and pop it in my mouth.  I didn’t instantly start gagging, but the texture, flavor, sight, sound, and smell of it all made my stomach start flipping.  Add to that the fact I haven’t had animal-based protein in almost a year, and my stomach was not a happy camper.  I only managed to get through the other 9 with ample use of the horseradish, red sauce, and crackers, and an order of double Jameson neat from the bar.

            The whole experience was unpleasant and somewhat embarrassing.  I can only imagine what the other patrons/staff thought as I grimaced my way through 10 of the little buggers.  But I did it—something Brad admits he hasn’t even done.  Now, may I never again suffer through such a gastronomic torture.

Experience-"Time is a gift, precious and rare..."

            Doing nothing you enjoy can be really frickin’ miserable.  It can also be kind of freeing, interesting, and fun.  Thankfully, most of the TV shows I watch (which is not an unreasonable number, but is more than it should be) are under 30 minutes, but limiting myself to one a day was a little difficult.  Not exactly Sophie’s Choice, but still hard deciding which exact one I was most interested in watching that day, since I only had one shot at it.

            Masturbation was also a little difficult.  I usually like to take my time, really get into it.  Not just whack-n-go.  I can roll with 30 minutes when need be, but I’m totally the kind of guy who likes to just luxuriate in self pleasure for an hour, or even two.

            Eating wasn’t hard.  I enjoy eating, but I don’t usually have time to sit down to some long, drawn out meal either.

            Pretty much all our video game consoles are broken, and I just don’t play that many to begin with, so that was easy.

            The hard bit was not reading, as I’m currently in the process of reading like 3 books (Yes, Brad, one of them is Imajica).  I’m not a quick reader, and even if I were, less than 2 hours of enjoyment-reading just seems like a waste.

            The experience wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t particularly hard.  I learned something I already knew, but is nice to learn and relearn from time to time.  Sitting in front of the TV vegging out, or doing any activity where you just unplug from society and day-to-day issues (yes, this includes logging on to the internet.  Virtual society only goes so far with regard to legitimate social interactions.  Also, physical activities, like being a constant gym bunny) isn’t healthy or cathartic.  It can be healing and rejuvenating to take a day, every so often (measured in months, not days or weeks) to just unplug, refresh, and just enjoy being unplugged.  However, it can also be an alluring trap you don’t even realize you’re stuck in until years, perhaps the majority of a lifetime have passed by.  Like Eddie Munster in the Phantom Tollbooth, stuck in the doldrums.  It can be relaxing to not have to care, not have to worry about your life, or the lives of others, just sit back and relax, forever.  You may even be able to convince yourself you ‘need’ it, that it’s good for you, but if you’re not careful?  It will swallow you whole.

Assignment - Gluttony - Week 6 - Physical

Objective - The eating of delicacies
Duration - 1 hour (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Consume 10 raw oysters during a meal with others at a public place.

Assignment - Temperance - Physical - Week 5

Objective - Practice self-control
Duration - 7 days (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Do nothing that you enjoy (aside from sleeping) for longer than 30 mins each day.

Experience-"Me Love You Short Time"

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Experience - Physical Chastity - Week 1

Next to the ‘Social’ assignment, this one was the most difficult, and I pretty well failed it fantastically. Not because I’m some raging lush or something, but because there is caffeine or alcohol in one form or another in SO many things—especially when you are sick, as I have been pretty much this entire week. Monday night alone, when I was just starting to feel ill at Brad’s house, I decided to try drinking a Dr. Enuf (hoping that would settle my stomach). Turns out? Dr. Enuf has caffeine in the ingredients. I did dump it out once I realized this, but I had already drunk most of the bottle.

Then there is the medication I have been taking. Most of it is in pill form, and all of it is over-the-counter—though I am not sure if medication alone qualifies as an intoxicant, and even if it does, fuck that. I feel like crap, and I am taking the damn pills! Anyway, pills aside, certain medicines (like night-time cough syrup) have alcohol in them. It is minimal, only about 10%, but still…rules are rules. And honestly, considering how terrible I am STILL feeling after almost a full week, I do not even know if it was worth breaking them. However, to pretend my illness was the only reason I broke the rules would be frankly, a lie.

While at Brad’s apartment Monday night, I forgot about the prohibition on alcohol for this week, and when offered—rather forcefully—some wine, I accepted. It was only a glass, and it was not exceptionally high in alcoholic content (or exceptionally good), but it was still wine. It was not until later that night I remembered, but it was too late. Beyond that one glass, however, and the cough medicine, I have done remarkably well to keep with the rules. I do not exactly start each day off with a Mimosa, but I do enjoy more than one glass of wine a week, on average, and the odd beer and hard liquor.

I guess what I have learned from all this is, even if one is not an alcoholic, or drug abuser, we are still, as a people inundated with intoxicants. Caffeine especially seems to find its way into places it has no business being, and alcohol (especially for those of legal drinking age) barely makes a blip on the radar.

Assignment - Lust - Week 2 - Physical

Objective - New sexual experience
Duration - As long as it takes (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Perform anonymous oral sex in a public place (bathroom, rest area, etc...)

Assignment - Chastity - Week 1 - Physical

Objective - Cleanliness maintained by refraining from intoxicants.
Duration - 7 days (7 days to complete)
Assignment - Consume no alcohol or other substances (including illegal drugs, caffeine, nicotine, etc...)