Experience-"No way!" "Uh, Yahweh!"

            Blurring the lines on this one, I decided to ask someone I have been talking to only a few months now (we play in an online game together, and have never met in person) rather than a total stranger.  Partly because it is kind of awkward to just start a random conversation about personal religious beliefs with a total stranger (I’ll work up to that, I’m sure), but also because I felt really lax in our budding friendship.  We only skirted the subject once before, she and I, and apparently I was completely wrong in my interpretation.

            I knew she was raised Catholic, but thought (as with all other Catholics I know, but am not related to) she was lapsed.  Apparently I was wrong.  Ana, her chosen name, actually still regularly attends Mass, and when she is unable to attend still does her daily readings.  She occasionally prays the rosary, tries to understand Church teachings, and to emulate Jesus; she does Lent and Ash Wednesday, and has met both Popes of her lifetime so far.

            Curious I further questioned if she ever questioned her faith, looked into others, and why exactly she found such comfort in the Catholic religion.  Ana responded that she had gone through a questioning period in her life, particularly when the major Church scandals broke out a few years ago, and she felt betrayed by the leadership.  Apparently her family is originally Orthodox, her mother being the first to be baptized Catholic, and she looked into that for a time—one of the draws to Catholicism for her is the ties to her family’s history.  However, when she went off to a Catholic College she met others who were passionate about their faith, and soon found her own rekindled.

            I find her story very interesting, as it’s similar to my own, but with a drastically different outcome.  I was raised in a bi-religious household (Christian and Jewish), and when I became a teenager began to question religion in general.  I searched various kinds, including Wicca, various Eastern religions, and a Judaism, to name a few.  I found that most religions held ridiculous tenants I simply couldn’t find the logic in, and were often used to justify acts of violent hate.  I became disillusioned, and decided I neither wanted, nor needed religion in my life—though I still consider myself a deeply spiritual person.

            Where Ana was able to find comfort and spiritual clarity, I only found distrust, disillusionment, and disgust.  I don’t think she’s wrong, or pass judgment on her for her beliefs, but I can’t claim to understand their appeal either.  And I’m okay with that.