Experience-"Spare the rod."

            I do not have children.  I do not particularly like children (even as a child myself).  I do not know that I ever want children—perhaps, we will see.  I do know I have to deal with children on a daily basis, however, and the way their parents choose to raise them, or NOT raise them does effect me, and society in general, so I do take an interest in the general practice of child rearing.  Which is not to say this project is superfluous or redundant to my life, because I actually rarely ask people-on-the-street their opinions on the matter; I prefer to consult the professionals (SUPERNANNY, FTW!).  Ahem, anyway…

            I took some liberties with this one, and posted the question to Facebook.  To be fair, I do not actually know everyone on my Facebook ‘friends list’ very well, or even at all (there are a couple friends of friends, and even just people who found me through shared interest groups).  The hypothetical was “How would you punish a child who intentionally puts gum in another child’s hair, the child is age 6”—I was specific because the infraction, intent, and age all matter in the type of discipline appropriate.  I got a few “Beat the shit out of the child” responses, but mostly from people who a) were not totally serious, and b) do not actually have kids.  One creative answer was to give the child a surprise haircut, because ‘kids seem to hate those.’  My favorite idea, however, is the idea to simply take the child aside (optional:  put them in ‘time out’), and then explain to them what they did wrong, and WHY it was wrong, followed up with an apology (again, SUPERNANNY!).

            One of my biggest complaints when getting punished when I was little—which was a truly rare occurrence—wanted to know why exactly I was being punished.  Why did it matter enough to send me to my room, put me in the corner, or give me a spanking.  In order for a child to rise to the level we expect them to be as adults, we have to treat them as such.  A person will raise or lower themselves to your expectations of them, especially when so young and impressionable.  My mother was not perfect, but she never treated me as simple, and I never acted such.  Children are amazingly versatile, and can be reasoned with if given a chance.

           

            As a personal aside:  I don’t believe in spanking.  I was spanked, not often, and I don’t think it damaged me terribly.  However, I do believe there are better ways.  I also find it interesting that a study was done which showed all the individuals who hid Jews from the Nazi’s during WWII were themselves never spanked.  I feel, in the long run spanking does more damage to a child than good.