Experience-"Everyone Says, 'I Loathe You!'"

            So as it turns out, I don’t actually know many couples in a committed relationship.  Or couples in general.  Like, next to none, honestly.  I honestly don’t know that many PEOPLE in general, really.  But whatever, we make do with what we’ve got, don’t we?

            This probably explains my general outlook on relationships.  I don’t date.  I’ve never ‘dated,’ or been in a romantic relationship with anyone.  I’ve been on exactly one date in my life, and it was … a little awkward, but mostly painless.  However, it was also rather underwhelming—and I don’t fault the other party in this, we just weren’t clicking.  The point being, I’ve not really had much experience with happy, healthy relationships.  Most of the couples in my life have either split dramatically, or continued on unhealthily, and quite often co-dependently.  My best friend just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship he—at the time—thought might be one to stand the test of time, and other Hallmark sentiments; friends from high school who married young have fought, threatened divorce, but ultimately decided to stay together for whatever reason; elder family members (aunts, uncles, etc.) have either gotten divorced to remarry someone basically the same (but better at concealing their activities) as the manipulative people they were originally married to, or stayed in a physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive marriage for no greater reason than ‘god doesn’t believe in divorce;’ There’s really one marriage of people I’m somewhat close to (though not geographically) which seems to be working, and even that had a really ugly phase.  I’m not saying I don’t believe in love, or that I think it’s impossible to have a healthy relationship, or even marriage.  I just don’t think most people are actually capable of it—and I definitely include myself amongst that number.  Especially when they go out looking for it.

            If by some unholy chance I happen to fall in love, and the person actually loves me back, I’ll let it happen (or at least try to).  I just don’t want to go chasing it.  I don’t want to be one of those people who thinks they HAVE to have someone in order to be complete.  ‘Cause if you aren’t a complete person, from what I’ve witnessed?  There’s no chance of you having a healthy, successful relationship (see:  co-dependant). I’m not running away from the possibility, but I don’t think I’m there yet either.